Saturday, from good to bad

I feel like writing about how I spent my Is He Here Yet? Saturday.

First Shane and I went to a White Sox game, where they kicked major booty against the Twins... 8 to nothing! It was a good game though I got a little sunburn on my nose and a spot on my forehead. (easily covered with some makeup). I was worried my whole face would burn before my wedding! It's all good though.

Anyway, a month or so ago Shane and I were watching Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives with Guy Fieri and he went to this place in Chicago called Tufano's. Everything he tried on the show looked absolutely delicious. I told Shane we had to go there sometime and he wrote it down and then we both kind of forgot about it. (so I thought) Then after the Sox game when I was half asleep, he says "You don't pay attention to anything, you haven't even noticed I'm using a map." And I just kind of looked over like "so what?" It never occured to me that he's NEVER needed a map to get home from a game before. Then he's like "you're not even aware of what's around you right now." And I'm looking around and I see valet parking going on all around me. He told me I completely missed the sign that had the name on it of where we're going. I asked him what it was and was sooooo happy to hear it was Tufano's! The place from the show!

It was some pretty good times. The portions weren't huge but everything was yummy and fast. I'd definitely go back there again if given the chance. Though I think next time I would get the dish Shane ordered. My tortellini alfredo was good but i loooved the sauce on his spinach ravioli.

Things were going pretty well but I noticed my mom called me and I missed it. So on the way home I called her and was told my cousin David from Michigan killed himself. He had been trying to for a while now, maybe 2 years or so that I know of... even on the cruise to Hawai'i he kept saying he was going to just jump off the ship. Well I thought things were getting better and he was supposed to come to the wedding but finally succeeded in his attempts to end it all. I can't imagine what my family there in Michigan who saw him all the time is going through right now but I know it's not good and if you're reading this, please just keep them in your prayers.

Even though it makes me sad to read this now, I'm gonna post a poem I wrote for him about a year ago...


Prayers for David

At night when he’s etching the pain into his deadened skin,
I say a prayer that he’ll discover what it’s like to breathe hope in.
When the tears are falling and his body collapses to the floor,
I imagine God wrapping His arms around him until his cold figure is warm.
When he thinks that rescue is impossible and his life is too far gone,
When he believes everything good has become incredibly wrong,
God will release him from the prison he’s put himself in, and I won't sound the alarms.
I’ll reach my hands out to him, one to hold him tightly, and the other to write love on his arms.

At night when he sees no way out of the shadows growing inside,
And he’s become blinded by sudden darkness, I promise to be his eyes.
When he’s had enough of losing and he cries until he’s numb,
I will find a way to save him, I will kiss the shaking hand that holds the gun.
When the world around him is failing and his beautiful soul turns frail,
When he feels he’s disappearing and that true love does not prevail,
I pray that God will be there to make strong what has become so harmed.
He’ll reach his hands out to him, one to wipe tears away… the other to write love on his arms.