We make me sick.

"In this needle and haystack life, I found miracles there in your eyes. It's no accident we're here tonight, we are once in a lifetime."

Those are some lyrics to Switchfoot's new song Needle and Haystack Life. I have to say, I am completely in love with those words. I think it's funny that the world gets excited when a comet that comes around every "million" years or so is going to make an appearance, or it's all over the news when an eclipse that only happens every now and then is going to occur, people freak out over rainbows or planets aligning or whatever rare occurance is going to take place. But the real magic is that we are more rare than the brightest most beautiful star in the sky. We ARE once in a lifetime. I'll be here for a while and then one day I'll be gone and that's it. I know it gets said all the time that people take life for granted but it amazes me sometimes just how true that is. No one looks at another human being like they're a stunning falling star, no one looks in the mirror in awe of their skin and bones put in place to house a unique and unmatchable soul. We all just march on with our God given lives like this existence is nothing special. My point is that I just don't know how God does it. How day after day he makes life and breath and the person blessed enough to have those things doesn't even get how completely sweet that is. If I put that much of myself into something and then it didn't even care or turned away from me completely, I'd be pretty pissed. How he promised to never flood the world again like he did in Noah's day is beyond me. I'd of stabbed everyone by now.

.... and on that lovely note, i need to go make some Theraflu.

I feel like Bambi alone in a forest

Pray for me, people.

I have no idea what to do with myself these days. I feel absolutely and completely lost. Not having a job for so long does not do positive things for the self-esteem. I don't even know what I would enjoy, what would make me happy. And have no idea what I would actually be good at. I've been looking into Medical Assisting lately but I just don't feel comfortable with the idea of going to school and being jobless. And if I was going to school and working at the same time, I would feel Shaneless. I wouldn't see him very much and I don't want that.

Homer Hickam's idea of a Rocket Boy or a Rocket Girl is someone who knows what they want to do, they go after it, and they get it. When I met him a few years ago, he called me a Rocket Girl... now here I am wondering what the heck that crazy man was thinking? The only thing I really enjoy and already know I'm good at is video editing. But I have no idea where I would even start with that as far as schooling or careering (that's right, i made up a word) would go. I don't exactly see many postings for video editors or film editors on Craigslist these days. Other than that, I feel that I've got nothin.

Dental Assisting was fun while it lasted but some part of me is over it. I know I wouldn't be happy with that again though if that's the only job I can find right now, I will take it.

Journalism I was good at but that's a nearly impossible industry to succeed in... unless my dream is to write obituaries for a few decades.

And other than those things, I've never really been great at anything else.

I don't know what to do but to pray for some newfound skill or passion.

Untill then, I feel like a shivering scared little animal. Which way do I go? Which path do I take? I don't like this feeling of being all alone in a big scary place, especially since I can't find my way anywhere without a GPS and animals don't have thumbs...

It's all for the best

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSwWSpSESbg

I think these guys did this very well.

Fast forward to about 35 seconds in.

Sunday Skoo

So I began my career as a Sunday School teacher at the church this past Sunday. It was fun though I was kind of weirded out to discover the boy from VBS who kept talking about blood and demons is in my class. Kindergarteners should not be that passionate about blood.

But it was good times, I get to be Sprout... which is a puppet some of the kids have come to know from previous years at Sunday School, so they were so excited to see him. I just wish I could do a better voice!

In other news, I'm in charge of the snack for bible study on thursday and am hoping it goes well. i will be making 30-something key lime bars. If they don't turn out right, i will be sad.

ooh and bowling season has started again, so i will be bowling with the league on wednesday! i've been missing it so much all summer. I've been missing winning money in the mystery pot too!

Also, i'm looking forward to going to the halfway to St. Patrick's Day White Sox game on Friday. Green everywhere!

... annnnnnd i'm done.

Old video

Since I've discovered I can upload videos to blogger, I'm going to throw one of my favorites up here. YouTube muted the sound on this about a year ago which really bummed me out cuz I'm quite happy with it.



Music is Dead Man by Jars of Clay with clips from 6 Feet Under. It's kind of dark but I dig dark so there you go...

New video

I worked very hard on this video and tried to put it on youtube but the record labels have this thing there now where anyone using their music... their videos get muted upon upload. Stupid youtube. Sooo I put it here instead. Quality isn't perfect but neither was my horrible software, I did the best I could with what I had and this is the result...

Video

my latest creation... it was a pain in the butt to make...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXXSTN10YkA